Here Is How You Can Change Yourself When You’re Left Abandoned

Life seems so easy at the beginning of the journey, that is, between the age group of 7 to 11. But as soon as you turn 12, that’s where you learn the most crucial things which include both physical and mental changes. For physical changes, you might cope up yourself by getting used to it. But mental changes can be drastic. You will come across many temporary people during this phase which would result in depression, anxiety, and a few other problems if not taken care. So, in this article, we’re going to learn how you can possibly change yourself by following these steps.

Change Yourself

Change Yourself

Changing yourself might be a little tough because it requires strong support from your companion. What if you don’t get enough support? How will you change yourself? There is a way, which can change you completely if executed properly.

As we reach in the middle age group of adolescent’s age group, we would often deal with frequent sadness, anxiousness and etc. This happens with both the genders, boys and girls. Adolescents bring many changes in your life such as attraction towards other sexes, peer pressure, jealousy, over self-glorifying, and etc. This means you’ll mostly fall for looks. But what if, you have a look that your group or the people you hang around don’t consider you attractive?


This can lead to anger in the beginning but as time passes by, you’ll start feeling lonely and depressed. You will start overthinking and assume that nobody loves you. Even if you’re cute or handsome, you’d consider yourself ugly. Why? Just because those people left you? Yea… That’s not their fault, neither yours. It’s all adolescents. This can often cause autism too.


Other Than Adolescents

Okay! Let’s assume you overcame adolescent’s effect and enjoying your life. But what if something drastic happens? For example, the death of a loved one, breakups, being cheated by your partner, being left abandoned by your loved one or your best friend, being ignored by someone you love, not getting enough attention. If not these, something serious like molestation, assaults, physical abuse, unwanted pregnancies and etc. All these can cause serious troubles to your mental health as you’d start avoiding interactions with the people.

Humans are social creatures of the Almighty. Even in introversion, one needs interaction with at least one or two of their closest one(as they prefer lesser company than extroverts). So if you almost no interaction or interaction at negligible level, this would cause you to suffer the most.

With all loneliness, depression, and anxiety you’re going through, you are more likely to change yourself. But wait! How? Only if you keep this constant. When you are surrounded by people around and are enjoying your life, changing yourself would feel to be completely useless. But when you are lonely, depressed and anxious, you will try to find any solution.

Troubles It Can Cause

Survive Depression

Such phase of life can put you a dilemma where you’re misguided by your overthinking. This results in self-hatred, self-harm, suicidal thoughts, and sometimes psychopathic behavior too.  It can also cause you to drive yourself away from the people you currently. Not because you don’t love them, but because of your overthinking killing you from inside.

Personal Preferences

As always, I write only the things I have gone through. So yea, most of the above-mentioned things have happened to me, and some are still happening. Guess what? I’m changing. How? Let’s see.

How Do You Change Yourself?

The more you isolate yourself, the worst you start feeling. You’ll start overthinking, depression would become often, you’d become more sensitive and overthink on every small possible thing. Like, personally, I’m feeling the same. But how did I change myself? To let it keep going.

Change Yourself

Yes, it is true. Ever thought how people master living in isolation after traumatic events? This just let it keep going! Keeping yourself away from social interactions would cause you to be depressed, anxious and overthink in the smallest situations. But not permanently! The people I was talking about in the above lines are these people! During their initial period of almost-no-interaction, they suffer and die every moment from inside. But as time passes by, you get used to it. You slowly don’t give a damn about whatever happens around yourself. Even if anyone new comes, you care about them, you love them but when they leave, you just feel a little sad but then you’re back!

Don’t you want to live such a life? Everyone does!

Stop interaction? Wouldn’t this cause a loss in day-to-day life? In both personal and professional part of your lives?

Oh, wait! You’re wrong! I didn’t mean to say stop interaction! You can stop interacting with people when they become too personal! As a human being, if you’re shown sympathy by someone, you slowly end up telling them every secret of your life! That is what we should avoid. Learn how to keep your dark secrets within yourself so that when the person leaves, you don’t regret telling them your darkest part.

I agree that spitting up the dark side can help you mentally, but not with everyone! Before you’re vulnerable to someone, make sure you have spent enough time with them. It should be like more than 3 months before you start getting professional. If they seek mental support from you, help them! Once helped, they’d be mostly more attracted to you by sharing their personal life experiences. You too feel the same, right? You too want to share your dark secrets and put down a little load and walk freely in life.

Once again, Change Yourself

As soon as you think you can trust that person, make sure you start wisely. Don’t end up telling everything about yourself. Be slow and wise, this will help you gain trust. Because even if they leave you in between, you would not regret telling them the darkest part.

What If They Leave?

It’s okay. It’s okay to cry out. But don’t let it decide your future self. To be honest, you can’t be happy all the time. You do have to face tough moments in your life which teaches you how to live. This will simply make you more mature enough to make decisions. Personal changes can help you gain professional experiences too. For a professional instance, you can manipulate and learn your client’s mood and behavior by recalling how you were excused by the person you loved. Yes, this is possible. You just have to think deeply, not too much. Don’t overthink, do deep think.


I’m not an expert in any of the above mentioned. I’m currently facing the same and I have started noticing changes within me. If you’re going through such a phase of life, you should seek professional help from psychiatrists. If you’re too shy, you should seek help from online portals. You can have a telephonic conversation with the professionals anonymously. To seek for one, search for “suicide helpline“.

Apart from that, I’m pretty much familiar with people going through depression as I have come across many people whom I helped. So if you are searching for personal help and suggestion, I may help you. You can reach out to me by contacting me in any of social media(Instagram and Facebook preferred) or by commenting down. If not, you can even email me.

Also, Read – This Is How I Fought Against Depression

Manal Shaikh

Just another teen cyber security analyst, system administrator, network analyst, web developer, web designer, and technology geek.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *